Our Perpetual Agitation
US uses cutting-edge jihad psyop techniques to manipulate ISIS into alliance against Soviet Bloc
April 3, 2024 by Larry Black
The US has been strongly condemned by members of the world stage for islamophobia and intentional exlusionary dealings towards those of swarth complexion—again. It is today again. In other news, the USA has been successful in employing the usage of specially trained operatives that are able to communicate in desertic dialects. Sources say the USA was able to implant an imam into the ranks of ISIS, and that the imam cells in question are likley still be operating.
Iconoclastic student pulls "popcorn trick" on teacher, teacher laughs
March 27, 2024 by Larry Black
Alhamdu'Lilah we have these problems, and alhamdu'Lilah, Allah (SWT) in his great wisdom gives us these problems to al laqala with. Insh'Allah, we will all qala waqala these problems and Allah (SWT) will send us new problems of chalaqa magnitude—for our jihad, of course—insh'Allah.
Ted Turner eats massive penile cock
March 27, 2024 by Larry Black
Today the global media magnate, Ted "Magnetic Cowbow" Turner, has pulled another sick stunt for charity. Mister Theodore Turner has travelled to the poorest part of India and bargained from the local penis hockers. Mr. Turner reports that he was able to find a great value, insinuating at a very meaty penile cock, for extremely high quality cheapness.
Turner: "It's not as good as white penile cock, but I like mine with chocolate on them anyway, huehue"
The Ancient Romans were right, your mother is a literal and rhetorical b*tch
March 27, 2024 by Larry Black
We all know the classical latin addage, "un prolongium alteram, de gypsum falteram," but Professor Chomski has discovered that this adage was not only weaponized by racists, but also literal nazi (p, pronounced /ˈnɑːts.aɪ/), and—believe it or not—communists.
Professor Chompsky: "Say unto those, if you still do not believe that your mother was inseminated by the great Prophet of Allah (SWT), Romulus (PBUH) the holy dog, then I have nothing to say to you. Some are shown the truth, yet they do not see; but your mother knew the truth of which Romulus (PBUH) canally homolitized."
Archeologists uncover systemic misogyny at Yellowstone Nationwide™ Park
March 20, 2024 by Larry Black
Archeologists have been devling deep into the cracks of this country to look for any signs of racism, misogyny, human trafficking, slavery, rape, systematic oppression, and/or aggravated verbal abuse. Thanks to the God, they have found systemic misogyny in Yellowstone Nationwide™ Park, confirming findings from other archeologists of the same troupe reported in Mammoth Cave earlier this month.
Soros convinces black people to join his team, renames team to "Soros' cool team
March 20, 2024 by Larry Black
He has unified the quran and he has convinced the black people to join his team. Wow. The Semites and the Blacks. they are teaming up and changing our true Allah’s (SWT) Quran. We have to send troops to the border, immediately, to stop the Soros-Black migrant caravan looking to invade our country and rape our beautiful white boys.
Scientists discover dopamine-releasing corporal punishment, beatings to stop
March 20, 2024 by Larry Black
This week, Sir Elondronius Musk has unveiled his new portfolio of patented technologies that, he claims, will push the human frontiers of bondage, dominance, submission, and masochism to new levels. By 2025, Mr. Musk pushes that he will be able to end all beatings in the world, because his patents will allow him to reduce societal morale into a steady-state function of improvement. Ergo, the beatings will stop, as the prophecy foretells. Thank you, Elong.
KANAL WDWB goes Defunct
March 13, 2024 by Larry Black
The owner of the company has fucked the wife of the janitor's daughter (they were lesbians) and this has been a major scandal. Thank you for reading our press release—we are a shitty company, just like the others, after all. Alhamdu'Lilah. We do not ask for tribulations from Father but he gives us tribulations when we do not ask for them. He is closer to each of us than our bile duct, ewall'Allahi.
Semites adamant about holiness of ink, plug their ears
March 13, 2024 by Larry Black
The semitic peoples are rioting again, adamant that precise and patternal depositation of ink on receptive surfaces have inherent value—a sui generis of some sorts. Further, the western world has taken to revisit the works of Rorsarch, with the president saying, "We think he was onto something, with the ink, and the blots."
Ramadan happens again, strengthens global jihad
March 13, 2024 by Larry Black
Hey it’s Ramadan again. Today we will give our thanks and praises to the one true Allah of the universe and the world. And this whole month we will continue to give our penance until we are out of penance to give. Alhamdu'Lilah to all.
AI actually a big deal--carrier pigeons but better
April 26, 2023 by Larry Black
They asked Aristotle what he thought of AI (in an AI Generative Predictive Text Generator of Aristotle) and he said that it was a very big deal because. And thats why you should think its a big deal too.
Remember in 2010 when white people thought a holographic Tu-Pac was spooky? Why is it that white people seem naturally afraid of a brothers, even holographic brothers, but easily placated by a holographic big brother? If y’all envisioned AI as a black intelligence, you’d arrest him.
Soros changed the Quran
April 26, 2023 by Larry Black
He actually did it, the mad man! Soros, the true unitarian prophet, in his Globalist divine wisdom, has united all of your Gods!
Soros says: “Success is conformity. Conformity is easy and thus success is easy. However you may find that the people you find successful have drug problems. That is because conformity makes you deeply unhappy, and so you drink to ‘be social.’ But just remember, It’s ok sweetheart, you’re just afraid of conformity. Everyone is. Share your metropolitical burden.\”
Prof. Chomsky is the actual last Rasulullah, Communismakbar
April 26, 2023 by Larry Black
Hey it’s today again. Turns out God was wrong. The Quran was changed. Soros did that too. He changed the fucking Quran, man! How could you do this, Soros? Soros, stop changing the Quran or else, Professor Chomsky will get you.
Students continue to commit terorism, neo-jihad activities
April 19, 2023 by Larry Black
Its so easy to identify cult behavior. Everybody’s in a cult except for you. When extremists kamikaze, we call it a cult. When students kamikaze, it mustn’t be religious or national pressures. It musn’t mean that we are all just one big cult. Surely, we have not indoctrinated our children have we?
Federalist soc. fears John Dewey hotter than Shortking Maddy
April 19, 2023 by Larry Black
I did not realize being Christian was pre-requisite for the Federalist Society. Quite openly and exclusively, they are looking for virile metrosexual youth that were expertly groomed with bible study every night.
When I didn’t meet the requirement, I asked them why: “If you weren’t groomed by a 2000 year-old whore book every night, how do you figure you could intercourse with a virgin 300 year-old parchment, libtard? Now get out of my office kid, I’m going to jack off to this.\”
Conformity is easy if you are tricked into falling in love
April 19, 2023 by Larry Black
But you’re different right? You love because you love. And it just so happens that everyone also “loooooves” Canadian geese™. Yes. “Put it on the card, hun.\”
Scientists build, study ape city
April 12, 2023 by Larry Black
General Behavior Report Attached:
Day 1: Monkeys quickly receptive to idea of money as unit of value. Dopamine systems seem successfully hijacked.
Day 2: Monkey accidentally smeared feces on banana during transaction with other monkey. Buyer did not appreciate mistake, was surprised, seemingly thinking the seller was providing additional value. Doubled money offer.
…
Day 43: Monkeys smearing feces on themselves, believe it doubles their sexual value.Monkey economy is 50% sanitation, 50% marketing. “Smear in the City,” very popular monkey tv-show. Critical mass achieved. Self-sustaining. Standby.
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Metropolitical eureka: Highgher function bipolar discovered
April 12, 2023 by Larry Black
Scientists said it can’t be done. Probably because they’re all liberal. Or they’re all Soros—can’t remember, since I’m not high functioning. But we did it. Oh and it still a ‘disorder.’
Authorities report a metrosexual start-up founder forgot to take his Depakote after he was distracted by a homeless person. Everybody else blames 'evolutionary pressures.'
Michigan student moves to New York for money
April 12, 2023 by Larry Black
Uncovered in public medical records: “Michigan student, age 25, handsome, closeted spornosexual, claims he is in search of ‘opportunity.’ Bizarre delusions, intake reports sialorrhea and sniffing at exposed concrete in architecture. Advised patient the only thing inside concrete is rebar. Noncompliant.\”
AI geniuses say \“Stop AI, we don't know what it does"–Yea, nothing
April 5, 2023 by Larry Black
And they would have fooled us if we hadn’t grown up with artificial bubbles. They hyped it up, pumped stock prices, and now they’re scared they can’t deliver. Because they can’t. When did every flip-flop with a calculator decide it was their job to save the world? Now they want to not be asked about it for 6 months so that they don’t have to admit it was just a chatbot all along. Go home zuckers.
Mandkind: Ever evolving towards spornosexuality
April 5, 2023 by Larry Black
Not all is lost with your metrosexual parents! With new immersive tik-tokking and porn watching technology, you can redeem your parents to help them adapt their biochemical sexual hardwiring from sultry concrete into nouveau voyeur vogue, as you blast off together as a family in the sexy sporny metaverse.
Also launching today, you can recreate all of your most wonderous wonkiest childhood memories inside the sex caves of Abercrombie & Fitch™—only in The© Metaverse™.
Silicon Valley invites more poor kids to join cool recession games
April 5, 2023 by Larry Black
How come when I blow up a bank it’s called jihad, but when SVB does it it’s called “risk”? How come when brown founders want to commercialize rocket technology all of these VCs suddenly blame “Biden economy”? And who let all these white boys talk about “good culture” at work?